We’ve made it, team! This is my final blog in the four-part series addressing the difficulties of finding motivation, making changes, and sticking with your plan even when it gets challenging. Very apropos for this time of year, don’t you think?
Today’s topic is one of those facts that seems so obvious, so inherent, so easy, but is in fact one of the most difficult things for all of us to get square with when pursuing something difficult.
If nothing changes, nothing changes.
If you’ve worked with me before, it’s almost a guarantee that you’ve heard me say this (probably more than once). In previous blogs I’ve written about how we are naturally resistant to change. I’ve also already told you about how change can involve letting go of parts of our identities that have served us in the past but no longer serve our futures. Additionally, I’ve already touched on the fact that change is hard. But this fourth and final fact - if nothing changes, nothing changes - addresses the fact that if you want something to be different, then change is absolutely necessary.
You might know that I love to explain things by giving examples, so let me continue that trend now. I recently started working with an athlete who we will call Evan (nope, not his real name). After having some initial conversations and assessments, Evan and I agreed that he would be a perfect candidate for ketosis. For those of you who are unfamiliar with nutritional ketosis (*cough go read my blog on it cough*), it is most simply understood as very low carb, high fat, and moderate protein diet. I’ll spare you the details of why and how we came to this decision, but let me again state that all signs pointed to this being the proper nutrition program for his goals and his lifestyle. And Evan was completely on board. In fact, he really seemed to love the idea. With one teeny tiny issue - He didn’t want to actually take any of the steps that would put him in ketosis.
Overall Evan was eating pretty close to a ketogenic diet already, with one major exception - His morning coffee. Evan originally told me he drank it “black” - which wasn’t a lie if we were judging simply based on the color of the coffee. What this really meant to him, however, was that he didn’t add any cream. What he did do was pour in 6 teaspoons of sugar with every cup.
When I told Evan he needed to remove all of the sugar from his coffee in order to get into ketosis, he said he couldn’t do that because he needed his coffee to be sweet.
“Ok” I conceded, “why don’t you try some sugar-free options, like monk fruit or stevia?”
His reply? “No, I don’t like those.”
No problem, I’ve got lots of ideas. I continued, saying something like, “Ok, why don’t we try to get your caffeine from a different source? For example, black and green tea have caffeine and they aren’t as bitter, so you might not need the sweetener.”
Again, “No. I don’t like those.”
I threw out a few more suggestions to Evan, all of which were turned down immediately. The more we kept going, the more it began to feel like we were in a gridlock. I needed him to give up putting pure sugar in his coffee if I was going to help him achieve his goals, and he wasn’t planning to give up sugar in his coffee.
So what it came down to was me saying this: “Evan, I hear you telling me what your goals are. And I hear you telling me your lifestyle. What you’re currently doing clearly isn’t working, otherwise we wouldn’t be having this conversation in the first place. So I need you to understand that if nothing changes, nothing will change. If you don’t give up this sugar addiction, you won’t lose weight effectively. You won’t start to heal your underlying health issues. You won’t improve your energy throughout the day. We have to make a change, in order to see a change.”
You see, it’s natural to want something, but to not want to put in hard work it will take to attain it. That’s the difference between a goal and a wish. Let me explain - The energetics of wishing for a million dollars are very different from the energetics of having the goal to earn a million dollar paycheck. The energetics of wishing you could be a competitive CrossFit athlete are very different from the energetics of grinding through long, hard workouts and clean nutrition, day after day, week after week, month after month, and year after year.
So as you wrap up this final blog of the series, I challenge you to acknowledge that when you start any new program - whether it’s nutrition or health or fitness or whatever - you’re going to have to make some changes. Some will be easy, and others won’t be so easy. But if you really want your goal, they will all be worth it.
P.S. Don’t worry, I’d never leave you hanging like that! You’ll be pleased to know that Evan did eventually get rid of the sugar in his coffee. He now makes his own version of bulletproof coffee, and swears he’s never going back.